Not being ready…yet desiring

Recently I passed through an interesting experience. I had been pretty single for the past 5 years by choice and also at the encouragement of some older friends of mine. They encouraged me to focus on my studies and keep my heart unattached to so many other things. However, I was still pretty curious as to what I was missing out on and also would get kinda lonely from time to time…Therefore recently I allowed myself to enter into a relationship with a great girl. However I still have two years of schooling left, therefore I didn’t feel like it was something I could carry on at the time. Because I had forgotten how much of your being is involved when in a relationship, it was helpful to receiver a refresher. My intent honestly was to continue dating this wonderful girl and see what happened down the line. But honestly I felt as if we both deserved more. I wasn’t 100% available due to school, work and other extracurricular activities; not to mention we live about 4hrs away each other. Our heart was to make it work though, as we were willing to spend our weekends together by traversing the the distance in between one another. It just didn’t feel right though. As aforementioned, I really feel like I have a lot of love to offer but now just wasn’t the time. We both deserve to be in a committed relationship in which building and growth can take place between one other.  Our current situations just aren’t conducive to that.

Anyways 🙂 The moral of the story is that life is great and full of helpful experiences. I hope that you all are well 🙂


[Delighting in blessing]

Psalm 109:17b “…And he took no delight in blessing, so it was far from him.”


This verse saddens my heart! It really speaks to what I would now consider to be a heart in an improper condition before the Lord. As a Christian of now 5 years, I could say that my evaluation of things definitely has changed. Things that didn’t used to be important to me are now important and vice versa. Honestly, my top goal is to live in peace with God and have His smile. To some that may be absurd and not make any sense. To that person I would kindly reply, “to each his own”, but then encourage them not to “knock it till they’ve tried it”. My current scale of evaluation can be likened to the interest one has in drinking alcohol or smoking marijuana. For some those habits are absurd and make no sense while to others, it is the norm.

Anyways, this verse speaks about one not delighting in blessing. What is the greatest blessing anyone could receive? Whether we all have realized it yet or not, gaining more God and knowing Him more is the greatest blessing we could ask of Him; for with God rest the wealth of  world. As I consider this person being talked about in this verse I am reminded of myself before I came to the Lord. I just didn’t really care for the things of God. I preferred to be distracted with the things of the world which offered satisfaction to my superficial needs. Therefore, I really didn’t know the blessing of God as I now know it. These days, by His mercy, I can say that I generally have a heart that delights in blessing. Meaning, it is important to me, I evaluate it to be of a very high value.

With that valuation in place, I seek God that my life is lined up in such a way as to remain in His blessing (the gaining and enjoying of His very self ). Anything that would detract me from the blessing has to be dealt with and isn’t tolerated. I’ve enjoyed the blessing and consider it to be very precious, therefore, by His mercy, it generally is not far from me.

This sort of experience is not unique to myself. I know that it is common among God’s people and would love to hear of such things below in the comments.

As always, be blessed and may the love and peace of God lead you to life.



[His Timing]


It has been a while since I have posted a blog. Mainly I have been praying and considering how best to approach this blog and what sort of content to add, how frequent, the length of posts, etc. Also… I just really haven’t had anything to write about. Additionally, I could say that I have been a little busy. So all of the aforementioned things came together and resulted in no blog posting haha. Anyways, it is good to be back at it as always! God is soooooooooo good and I am excited to have some new experiences to share.

This morning I’d like to talk about God’s timing. I remember that the first blog I posted had something to do with me losing my wallet and being unable to find it. No matter how hard/ much I looked for that wallet it was nowhere to be found. I even double and triple checked places where I was pretty sure it could be found. Eventually I just realized that it was not going to be found (at least not now) so I relented my vigorous search and decided just to wait on the Lord. Eventually I began rebuilding a new wallet (ordered replacement cards and bought a new wallet) and forgot about the fact that I had “lost” my previous wallet. The other day I was playing basketball and before leaving the location I dug down in my bag to verify that my current wallet was still there. As I reached down to verify, my hand made contact with an all too familiar texture which turned out to be the “lost” wallet that I completely forgot about. There were definitely mixed emotions at that time, seeing as how I had already replaced everything and now had two of everything. Honestly though…looking back it wasn’t a bad experience. The Bible tells us in Romans 8:28 that “all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose”. I’m just learning to say “Amen Lord, I love You”, in all situations realizing that no situation is outside of the “all things” category spoken of in this Romans verse. This means that no matter what is going on, in a very real sense ,”I’m good”; meaning God got me and this will turn out to more salvation (Phil. 1:19).

The “good” refereed to (if you continue reading and search the context) actually is just us being conformed more into the image of Christ.  This is a very good thing! According to the world maybe this is, dear I say, useless…but if our hearts have been enlivened by His love and our eyes opened, we will realize that gaining God is really the greatest blessing we can receive.

Anyways! I hope that you all are well 🙂 I imagine that you are. The moral of the story is to wait on Jehovah and trust in His timing! In this way we will experience peace and a sure supply. Grace to you all!

[Deep calls unto deep]

How is everyone doing?!

It’s so good to be back with another blog post. There have been many experiences that I’ve enjoyed recently of the Lord and of life in general and some that I haven’t haha. However, Romans 8:28 tells us that “…all things work together for good to those who love good and are called according to His purpose”. Recently a dear older brother in the Lord gave some members of our local congregation some fellowship about this verse. I will NEVER forget it because it was such a revolutionary word for me to hear. It also proves true through my own personal experience. The fellowship was something along this lines of this:

“I just encourage you all, even when you know you’re sinning, or in the worst situation, or in a situation that you KNOW is contrary to God, just to tell Him that you love Him anyway.”

The reason why we can and should do this is because our present circumstance or temporary situation doesn’t define who we are or what we will be. I have been in many a situations where I just thought to myself, “How did I get here? Am I still even a Christian?” All the while I would still have this sense that I still truly do love my God but was just passing through a hard time. Therefore, when a situation that I feel is contrary to God arises in my life, and it starts in encompass me and it eventually engulfs me…I just calm my being and remind myself, “Lord Jesus I love You”, as well as “this too shall pass”.

This has been such a sweet experience for me because God’s love truly never fails. When the Bible tells us that ALL things work together for good we really have to stand on that in faith. Since we have been saved and set apart to God, everything is now under the category of “all things”. This is amazing.

Ok, now I would like to transition onto the main burden of this blog post: Deep calls unto deep.

There is a beautiful verse in the Psalms that reads: “Deep calls unto deep, at the sound of Your water spouts; all Your waves and Your billows pass over me”. The meaning of this verse can definitely be taken and seen differently by varying persons. The way I see this verse though is as a sort bringing forth or rousing. A spout is like a tornado over a body of water. It is a vortex which means it possesses some suction. Suction is good at rousing things and displacing; consider your household vacuum. When it is turned on dust and debris are roused and displaced from where it currently is. This may not be the best picture but I believe it’s clear enough.

We have a human spirit. ( 1 Thess. 5:23,24; Rom. 1:9; Haggai 1:14). God made us this way in order to contact Him. In order that there could be some deep calling unto deep. Many a times I am in a situation where the grace of God has been provided in such a strong way because I experience this deep calling. According to my Christian experiences thus far, the easiest way to enjoy grace is to call on the name of the Lord. There’s actually an entire website that I know that is dedicated to this matter of calling, (

When we call we really get the person of our God. He tells us that He is rich to all who call upon Him (Rom. 10:12). I believe the saving mentioned in this chapter is not only once for all but also daily, even moment by moment salvation. Many times we find ourselves in situations that are uncomfortable and unpleasant. However, we realize that this has been arranged in sovereignty by our God as apart of the “all things” (Rom. 8:28). Therefore what can we do? As I’ve learned, we can experience this deep calling and enjoy the waves and billows of the Lord passing over us. I don’t think that the waves and billows in this context are negative. The grace of God is frequently referred to as water, mainly as rivers. However, maybe in our immense struggles those rivers have turned into immense waves.






[Praiseworthy Shepherding]

I just want to praise God this morning. I am so strengthened in my faith right now. It’s so good to know and really experience a God who is so near to us as to hear our prayers and cares so much as to answer them. Have you ever realized how near God is to us? This morning I am strongly and freshly reminded. Philippians 4:5 says “Let your forbearance be known to all men. The Lord is near.” What a sweet verse! The Lord is near. Acts 17: 27 and the first part of 28 say “That they might seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, even though He is not far from each one of us; 28 For in Him we live and move and are,…” Lastly, Romans 10 verse 8 says, “But what does it say? ‘The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart,’ that is, the word of the faith which we proclaim,”. We know that to have God’s Word in us is equivalent to having God in us; Christ is the Word of God. God in Christ is so near, in our hearts as life and in our mouths as breath. In this way, He has no problem hearing and answering our prayers. He is apart of us, this proximity can be matched by none.

I like to think, and my experience testifies, that due to God’s nearness (even His indwelling within) He is the ideal shepherd, able to provide the best care. As I mentioned, God is not so far as to not hear our prayer, or the whispers of our heart in distress, or the frail prayers we utter in our weakness. He is our breath and life and is able to hear every word and know every feeling. He is literally touched with the feeling of our weakness and need (Heb. 4:15). In Philippians 4, after mentioning that the Lord is near in verse 5, it goes on to speak of prayer. Verse 6 and 7 read, “6 In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses every man’s understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.”

I had some real experience of this recently as I lost my wallet and was slightly concerned and seemingly inconvenienced. However, I have had enough experiences of Christ to know that all I could do was pray and wait. Yes I attempted to back track and call/ go to all the places where I believed it could be. There is a point though when every rock you know to turn has been turned and still nothing. It’s at that point where you just have to wait and pray. I haven’t found my wallet, yet which is fine. I praise the Lord anyways though because His work in His children is so good and He provides for all of our needs. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Therefore I can rest assure because, correct me if I am wrong but wouldn’t this situation fall into the category of all things? If the Lord wanted me to find my wallet, my wallet would have been found. I’ve experienced that before, several times actually. However, this time, what needs to be found is just more Christ.

I may not have found my wallet, but Praise God, the Lord is near and the peace/grace abounds 🙂