Not being ready…yet desiring

Recently I passed through an interesting experience. I had been pretty single for the past 5 years by choice and also at the encouragement of some older friends of mine. They encouraged me to focus on my studies and keep my heart unattached to so many other things. However, I was still pretty curious as to what I was missing out on and also would get kinda lonely from time to time…Therefore recently I allowed myself to enter into a relationship with a great girl. However I still have two years of schooling left, therefore I didn’t feel like it was something I could carry on at the time. Because I had forgotten how much of your being is involved when in a relationship, it was helpful to receiver a refresher. My intent honestly was to continue dating this wonderful girl and see what happened down the line. But honestly I felt as if we both deserved more. I wasn’t 100% available due to school, work and other extracurricular activities; not to mention we live about 4hrs away each other. Our heart was to make it work though, as we were willing to spend our weekends together by traversing the the distance in between one another. It just didn’t feel right though. As aforementioned, I really feel like I have a lot of love to offer but now just wasn’t the time. We both deserve to be in a committed relationship in which building and growth can take place between one other.  Our current situations just aren’t conducive to that.

Anyways 🙂 The moral of the story is that life is great and full of helpful experiences. I hope that you all are well 🙂

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[Delighting in blessing]

Psalm 109:17b “…And he took no delight in blessing, so it was far from him.”

 

This verse saddens my heart! It really speaks to what I would now consider to be a heart in an improper condition before the Lord. As a Christian of now 5 years, I could say that my evaluation of things definitely has changed. Things that didn’t used to be important to me are now important and vice versa. Honestly, my top goal is to live in peace with God and have His smile. To some that may be absurd and not make any sense. To that person I would kindly reply, “to each his own”, but then encourage them not to “knock it till they’ve tried it”. My current scale of evaluation can be likened to the interest one has in drinking alcohol or smoking marijuana. For some those habits are absurd and make no sense while to others, it is the norm.

Anyways, this verse speaks about one not delighting in blessing. What is the greatest blessing anyone could receive? Whether we all have realized it yet or not, gaining more God and knowing Him more is the greatest blessing we could ask of Him; for with God rest the wealth of  world. As I consider this person being talked about in this verse I am reminded of myself before I came to the Lord. I just didn’t really care for the things of God. I preferred to be distracted with the things of the world which offered satisfaction to my superficial needs. Therefore, I really didn’t know the blessing of God as I now know it. These days, by His mercy, I can say that I generally have a heart that delights in blessing. Meaning, it is important to me, I evaluate it to be of a very high value.

With that valuation in place, I seek God that my life is lined up in such a way as to remain in His blessing (the gaining and enjoying of His very self ). Anything that would detract me from the blessing has to be dealt with and isn’t tolerated. I’ve enjoyed the blessing and consider it to be very precious, therefore, by His mercy, it generally is not far from me.

This sort of experience is not unique to myself. I know that it is common among God’s people and would love to hear of such things below in the comments.

As always, be blessed and may the love and peace of God lead you to life.

 

 

[His Timing]

Hello!

It has been a while since I have posted a blog. Mainly I have been praying and considering how best to approach this blog and what sort of content to add, how frequent, the length of posts, etc. Also… I just really haven’t had anything to write about. Additionally, I could say that I have been a little busy. So all of the aforementioned things came together and resulted in no blog posting haha. Anyways, it is good to be back at it as always! God is soooooooooo good and I am excited to have some new experiences to share.

This morning I’d like to talk about God’s timing. I remember that the first blog I posted had something to do with me losing my wallet and being unable to find it. No matter how hard/ much I looked for that wallet it was nowhere to be found. I even double and triple checked places where I was pretty sure it could be found. Eventually I just realized that it was not going to be found (at least not now) so I relented my vigorous search and decided just to wait on the Lord. Eventually I began rebuilding a new wallet (ordered replacement cards and bought a new wallet) and forgot about the fact that I had “lost” my previous wallet. The other day I was playing basketball and before leaving the location I dug down in my bag to verify that my current wallet was still there. As I reached down to verify, my hand made contact with an all too familiar texture which turned out to be the “lost” wallet that I completely forgot about. There were definitely mixed emotions at that time, seeing as how I had already replaced everything and now had two of everything. Honestly though…looking back it wasn’t a bad experience. The Bible tells us in Romans 8:28 that “all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose”. I’m just learning to say “Amen Lord, I love You”, in all situations realizing that no situation is outside of the “all things” category spoken of in this Romans verse. This means that no matter what is going on, in a very real sense ,”I’m good”; meaning God got me and this will turn out to more salvation (Phil. 1:19).

The “good” refereed to (if you continue reading and search the context) actually is just us being conformed more into the image of Christ.  This is a very good thing! According to the world maybe this is, dear I say, useless…but if our hearts have been enlivened by His love and our eyes opened, we will realize that gaining God is really the greatest blessing we can receive.

Anyways! I hope that you all are well 🙂 I imagine that you are. The moral of the story is to wait on Jehovah and trust in His timing! In this way we will experience peace and a sure supply. Grace to you all!